At Winebrenner Theological Seminary, a question that often bounced around virtual classrooms and chat boxes was, “What is God calling you to?” Many of my incredible new friends have amazing hopes and dreams. Their calling is clear, with a path stretching before them toward a distinct goal. Others, however, know they are on the right path but don’t know exactly where it is leading.
Then there is me. Winebrenner isn’t a path I am on to reach a distinct or unknown goal. It is a winding river of hope, life, and adventure!
I grew up in a resilient community of farmers, factory workers, and country folks who knew what it meant to labor. My family didn’t have much money, but I really didn’t mind or pay much attention to that because most of my friends were poor too. I wouldn’t realize, however, the impact that culture had on me until I went to college and started engaging with people from different backgrounds. I still remember the first time someone teased me about my grammar—lying in bed that night, wondering what the ‘correct’ way to speak even was. College proved to be academically strenuous, demanding a version of me I hadn’t yet figured out how to be. After two years of struggling, I had decided I just wasn’t smart enough or good enough to continue. So, I dropped out of the race.
As a first-generation college student, I felt like I had failed in many ways. But I had always wanted to be a wife and mother, so I decided to pivot. I dedicated my entire world to doing exactly that and doing it well. This was a path heavily encouraged by the Christian fundamentalist environment I was a part of, which taught me to find my identity in those roles. I found immense joy and fulfillment in being a wife and mother, but at the same time, I lost my true joy and purpose in Jesus Christ.
A couple of years ago, after a series of life-changing events and a season of counseling, I began to truly understand my worth for the first time in my life. My worth wasn’t found in my gender, career, or any role—it was strictly found at the foot of the cross and the love that was displayed for me there.
In this season, I also decided to finish what that 18-year-old had started nearly 20 years prior and graduate from college. Through a series of Spirit-led events and conversations, I landed at Winebrenner on their experience-based pathway. As I tuned in for my first class with Dr. Johnson, I felt a familiar sense of uneasiness. Would I fail again? Would my 18-year-old self resurface and be intimidated by my peers’ incredibly profound spiritual depth, or drown in the academic pressures of seminary?
I am happy to declare that I have not failed or drowned. God has used Winebrenner as an instrument of healing and sanctification. So when people ask me what God is calling me to, my answer is simple: I am in school to heal me, break curses, and bless my family and everyone else around me. I hope that on graduation day, some of those people will be there to watch me walk across the finish line. When I look out at the crowd on that day, I know who I will see applauding alongside my professors and friends. I will see 18-year-old Erica, proud of the woman she became.
- Erica Zerkle, Master of Arts in Practical Theology (anticipated 2027)